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28 Sep 2011

Of Us, Women

Not to be a big, fat joy-kill but I try to look at things from both POV's.
And since we have all turned into a feminist lot suddenly and the poor(?) men are left wondering what hit them, I thought I'd help them out a bit and list out how women can be major pains in the tushy.
Lets be fair for a minute, shall we?

(I'll list out only those things which I can vouch for in person and from people around for I have no right to generalize)
1) We are a manipulative lot.

While this is not a bad thing for we have our fathers wrapped around our little finger and we mean it with all the love in the world, there are women I know who are SO bloody good at mind-fucking men so bad that they are left wondering which way is up. Right from making decisions seem like the guy's idea in the first place to getting things done with tears and tantrums.

2) We over-analyse.
For decades, research has be shoved in our faces saying men are made differently from us. Why don't we just accept that? No. We have to take every single action, psycho-analyze it and make it out that they don't love us or respect us or some indepth feeling that he doesn't even know to name.

3) We are bitches. Sometimes.

We take him shopping when we KNOW he detests it AND make him carry our bags. We complain about the time he spends with his friends no matter how many sweet gestures he makes for us. We tell our bffs all about the relationship and rail at him when he mentions one teeny detail to his buddy. We whine and complain and nag and then wonder why he lost interest.

4) We are hypocrites.
We stare at good-looking guys, talk about their ass being sculpted, swoon all over them, indulge in locker-room talk with our girls, bat our lashes at random guys, enjoy the attention showered on a girls' night out (do not even begin denying any of this). Yet when we find one single text on his phone from his colleague (about WORK), we start having 'trust issues' and raise hell in his life and ours.
We willingly lose it to him and later complain he forced us.
We tell him that we love him just the way he is and ask him to change the way he behaves.
We dress up like sluts and blame him for staring. He's a guy, he's made that way, there's no way we can change than. So if we don't want him to stare the lets cover ourselves up and be modern in a decent way. THEN he stares, break his bones. I'll help.

5) We are irrational and we generalize too much.
Men don't understand PMS and yet the ones who love us try. Half a brownie point.

Lets not overdo it unless he behaves like a prick back to us.
Just because one guy is a blasted pervert doesn't mean all of them are. Maybe they are, but there are gentlemen who never make it known. There are. Still. Lets not lose faith in entire mankind.

Men will be men. It's up to us to make them meet us somewhere in the middle on common ground for love them or hate them, we can't live without them. Even Shahana says so in the end.

All this said, I also add that most men are jackasses who don't realize that without women their world would be full of dostana, beer and crude jokes.
No warm bodies to curl up with, no one to cook for, no one to assert your masculinity to, none to be macho for.
You exist because we do. You are happy because we make you happy.
Love us the way we love you.
Learn some respect, treat us the way you would your mother, your sister and your wife for we are all those to somebody.
Red says all this better than I do. Go read.