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21 Feb 2012

Metamorphos-ing

Change.


For a long time, I and Change have had issues. Change meant loss of familiarity, loss of the comfortable-ness, loss of patterns and schedules that I work so hard to create. And that scared me beyond all reason, I was afraid that any semblance of order that I have in my life would go flying out of the window and the ruckus that will prevail then will lead to failure. 
To losing my ability to do it right. I wrote a post about how the change that looms large is weighing heavy on my head and heart. Outwardly, I chin-upped at Change and said, bring it on. Inwardly, I trembled like aspen in a storm. I was afraid of giving up control.


Right down to when I got obsessively compulsive about little things like re-installing my OS for fear that I would lose everything I worked so hard to compile.


Then, change brought good things. Change showed me that love doesn't have to hurt all the time. That accepting your faults can be a good thing. That apologizing even when it's not your fault can save my own mind from going around in eternal circles. Change can make a best friend out of a mother whom I claimed had never 'understood' me.


Change shakes things up when they have settled down to make sludge. Change keeps the flame alive, change keeps things interesting. Change kicks monotony's ass. Change inspires. 


Change can be a good thing too.