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20 Mar 2014

10 Harsh Realities of Life

...in no particular order

- Moms will always be right. However stupid/outdated/atrocious/crazy/impossible the things they say seem, they will ALWAYS be right. Like when they say you shouldn't trust the girl you are about to move in with because she seems crazy? You should listen to them.

- There is always someone or the other having a better relationship than you. If you are in a new relationship, you will envy the ‘tenured’ relationships. If you have stuck by your man long enough, you will envy the freshness of new relationship. Not to mention all the singles who are cool and totally independent, secretly bemoan the fact that they have no one to cuddle with after work.

- There is always someone with a better wardrobe than you. No matter how long you spend picking out the perfect pieces of clothing for your work wardrobe, someone will come along looking like Donna and you’ll end up feeling like this.

Donna Paulsen - Synonym of Perfection

- Money and that waterfall that you picnicked at? Same strategy, they employ. Keep flowing, never collect in one place. And unless you set automatic transfers to a savings account that you can’t revert at any point, you will be broke by the first week of the month.

- Friends will make the best of plans only those specific weekends that you are busy or when you are traveling home. And God forbid, you miss a road trip, there will be Hell and a bunch of inside stories and jokes (that you don't get head or tail of) to pay for.

- Your winning streak on QuizUp will be abruptly halted at 9 by the ultimate dumbass who knows squat about the topic because in your hurry to gloat, you will answer wrong to the simplest question possible and give away all the bonus points to aforementioned dumbass. (For those of you who haven't played the game yet, WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH YOUR LIFE).

- “What next?” is a question that people are going to haunt you with your entire life. Do not sigh with relief after any milestone that you might have crossed (boards, college, postgrad, job, promotion, marriage… you know), they are still going to be after your life (literal translation of jaan ke picche pade rahenge).

- All the songs you love will always be break up songs. And when you accidentally hum out loud (except in the shower), there will be at least one person who has a pitying look.

- When you stop watching cricket matches that India plays, they will play like their ass is on fire. When you finally convince yourself and watch a match, the first five wickets will drop like bowling pins along with your patriotic feelings for the team. That is when you will start praying for Pakistan to win the match, out of sheer spite.

- A smartphone will never have charge. Regardless of how many awesome things it is capable of, no matter how conscientiously you charge, at that moment when you really, really need to check directions to the club you are going to at 11 in the night, it WILL switch off.

The speed at which it drains is inversely proportional to how badly you need to conserve it.

Bonus point: The ...last seen at feature on Whatsapp is the most annoying feature in all of social networks.
Bonus point 2: Everyone will have better Flappy Bird scores than you. Unless you are one of those people. In which case, I detest your existence.