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8 May 2013

Five Things No One Should Be Subjected To

5) Children screaming at the top of their voices at 7 am on a Sunday morning.

Trust me when I say I like kids, I really do. But just because the summer holidays are here and you are too lazy a parent to find something constructive to do (I'm not being judgemental here, I know what it is like to have bored, hyperactive kids at home), does NOT mean that you let them run amok and ruin lives with their we-have-nothing-to-do-so-we-will-scream screaming. NOT on a sacred SUNDAY MORNING.

4) Restaurants that don't believe in clean cutlery.

I'm never going back to that famous cafe called Coffee on Canvas in Koramangala regardless of how much VFM they give me. They gave me a used fork (eegghhh) to have my waffles with. No bigger put off, beyond disgusting.

3) People who can't stop talking about how much money they have/how awesome they are/how they are God's gift to the human race.

I don't want to know because a) I'm broke by the first week of the month b) that is YOUR opinion. And nobody else's.  c) even if you are (which you aren't) I wouldn't want to know about it. Thank you for keeping your obnoxiousness out of my face.

 2) Girls who string guys along.

You know, the ones who go out alone with a different guy every night of the week, say that they are just friends, enjoy all the attention when it comes their way and then make a big deal out of it when the guys ask them out and blame them for 'taking things in the wrong sense' and 'taking advantage of friendship'. Guys are NOT subtle, that's an established fact. So if you are not interested, do not go out on dates with them just because you have nothing better to do. 

1) People who cannot handle their drink.

You want to drink for 'fun'. Go ahead. You want to get sloshed, behave like a moron and make a complete idiot of yourself. That is your choice to make, as well. But do not, I repeat, DO NOT tell me that you can handle it, that you are the most solid drinker in the history of the world, that it is something you do all the time and THEN proceed to puke your face off, get into trouble and expect me to come to your rescue. Not when we have known each other for all of three seconds. 

Not applicable to besties. 

Bonus: People who use darkened car windows to look at and pick their nose before examining the contents.

I was sitting inside a car with the windows up. Traffic signal. Man on TVS 50. Stops right by my window and starts digging into the deep recesses of his nose. Finds whatever he is looking for, retreives it and proceeds to examine it. Thoroughly. In full public view. In broad daylight.

By the time the light turned green, I'd fainted.