10 Dec 2010


Oh, I might as well admit two things right at the beginning.

(i) Idea NOT original. Only the list is.

(ii) I have not seen the actual movie. And my inspiration is Ashwin Ramachandran, fellow blogger.

I was going through this (in-ter-est-ing-!!!) and I realised I had my list too. The difference is that mine has some crazy stuff that can/will never ever happen. Anyway, here goes….

1) Own a farm in Welsh like the ones in Enid Blyton stories, complete with big mooing Jersey cows and chickens and strawberries and whatnot. I want my entire family there, with me baking fresh bread every day and bottling my own pickles and jams. For those wiseasses who might say ‘strawberries don’t grow in Welsh’ or something, please move over and let me dream. And now you know what I meant when I said ‘crazy’.

2) Own one item of every single huge brand in the world. The list starts from Armani, Gucci, Prada, Jimmy Choo’s, Bvlgari, Victoria’s Secrets and goes on. I’m not greedy; one item from each would be more than enough.

3) Go backpacking across the world. When I say back packing, it doesn’t mean that I will pitch tents and endure mosquitoes; ‘back-packing’ just sounds exotic. If at all I get to go, it will be first class all the way, baby!

p.s: Erm, well, you get to go round only once (pun intended), you might as well do it in style.

4) Make sure all the orphans within a ten mile radius of wherever I am are taken care of. ‘Care’ also includes education. At least, a-ten-mile-radius will be better people. Oh, and old people too; those ones whose families I will exterminate for abandoning them.

5) Learn all the traditions of the different cultures of the world. I don’t know why, it fascinates me.

6) Learn Arabic and read the Koran. I’m fascinated with Islam as well.

7) Buy a zoo and treat the animals so very, very well, that my zoo becomes an example to the rest of the zoos and all of them want to emulate me.

8) Shoot/ curse/hex everybody who eats rabbits.

9) Build a house with a pool and a hot tub and the works and decorate it myself (that includes the painting too. Yeah, yeah, I know it won’t turn out as abstractly pretty as it does in movies but I still want to try).

10) Invent a clothes-folder. As in it folds clothes after they dry. Is there something like that already? (Note: I DETEST folding clothes, but as the good- lil-house-keeper-person I’m supposed to be, that is/will be one of my main duties…*throws up hands in despair*).

11) Shake all those of my classmates who are getting married and tell them “WTFTW??, You are ONLY frikking 20!! WHAT, in the name of all that is holy, is your hurry? (For the record, I don’t have anything against marriage or any commitment issues. I’m freaked out by the idea of people I ran around in pigtails and pinafores with ‘settling’ down).

12) Be a guy for a day. It’ll help me SO much in dealing with them.

13) Own a chocolate factory that caters only to people with names starting with a P, ending with an A, and has R, I,Y, A, N, and K in between. They also should be Malayalee, 5’ 2(.5)”, 49.5 kgs, shoulder-length black hair and worship chocolates.

14) Play Blur all night and complete all the demands at one go. Also, be allowed to use Shannon’s F1 Renault in and for all levels.

15) Unleash bugs on all men who think that women belong in the kitchen, barefeet and pregnant. If the woman herself wants to be barefeet and pregnant in the kitchen, that’s fine; please, oh please, don’t force her. Not by brute strength OR emotional blackmail.

16) Ask Ekta Kapoor how her serial actors sleep eight hours and wake up without smudging their liner or mascara. Would be of GREAT use to me in changing my cat-just-took-a-swipe look. While I’m at it, I might as well ask her how her characters can be as stupidly slow-brained as to take three weeks’ worth of episodes to find out that their spouse has something to say/cheating on them/pregnant/dying.

17) Walk the red carpet to the Oscars in something that an Indian designer made which actually looks Indian.

18) Meet Sharukh, Hrithik’s kids, Shahid and the Bacchan family. Oh, and when I meet SRK I want to scream that girly way that just pierces the eardrums and come out through the other side leaving your brain fuzzy and you thinking if she’s lost it.

19) Find software that automatically downloads all the songs from songs.pk, bollywood section. And iTunes and all the rest.

20) Oh, one of the most important. Make fast, free internet connectivity available EVERYWHERE. By everywhere, I MEAN everywhere including Leh, loo etc.

21) Make sure my brother and sister have exactly the same (or more) choices and opportunities that I did.

22) Write a children’s best-seller. Like J.K.R.

23) Stop having dreams about falling off a chair.

24) Make Chocolava cakes the official breakfast of India.

25) Pray hard every night that 2012 happens, so that humans can take some time off to think about their priorities.

26) Make money less important in our lives.

27) Hope that people who are cruel to animals die a slow, excruciatingly painful, prolonged death. If I can help in the process, that’d be awesome.

28) Erase, rewind and re-record life and put a genuinely happy, carefree smile on my mother’s face.

29) Take one small, tiny little peek into the future to make sure things will go as I have planned them.

30) Grow bananas in my backyard.

31) Start a playschool and spend all day, every day with babies and toddlers.

32) Get drenched in every single rain from now till eternity and come back to my mother’s pakodi.

33) Never disappoint Nandu.

34) Meet a vampire. Nope, not because of Edward Cullen (I don’t find him THAT handsome, thank you very much). But because I want to know if an alternate world exists. Oh, even a Hippogriff would do.

35) Tell Swami Vivekananda to make his speech less complicated to understand because he actually has a point. And a very relevant, good one.

36) Never ever have writers’ block or any trouble putting into words the EXACT same thing that’s running in my head.

37) Do shots in a pub/ get a drink sent over.

38) Buy the coffee machine from my night canteen. Nope, I don’t want another one LIKE it, I want the EXACT same one.

39) Touch a snake (and not have it bite me, du-h).

40) Start a stray pound for all strays in the world and make sure they are treated right.

41) Meet the cast of Grey’s Anatomy with the (vain!) hope that they are the same people they portray.

42) Be able to one: freeze time, two: read other people’s minds (comics-overload).

43) Immortalize F.R.I.E.N.D.S with a museum.

44) Be able to look out of my window every morning and see vast fields of flowers and grass and be able to look forward to each day.

45) Own a library.

46) Visit Disneyland with my brother and sister while they are still children.

47) Hope other people see the small, happy things in life.

48) Honor A.R.Rahman, Oprah Winfrey, Dr. Kalam, Suu Kyi, Steve Irwin, J.K.R, Danielle Steele, Vellupalli Prabhakaran, Mark Zuckerberg, Amitabh Bacchhan and Jyothi Victor. Contact me for more details on why.

49) Be able make the people I love happy all the time, all my life.

50) Be able to call somebody a dash when I need to.

This has turned out more like a wishlist rather than a bucket list. Ah well, like Phoebe says, potato, potahto.