16 Mar 2012

Pick! Perfection Or Messed Up

Sachin FINALLY got to celebrate. About time, I should think. 
But, with all due respect, if I read ONE more update with 'Sachin' or 'God' in it, I'm going on a blocking spree.  
And we lost. To Bangladesh. 
Moving on (before I launch into a rant)...

There is this author, yeah. Pretty famous I should say, from what I hear. I was initially very taken in with the whole idea of her, but, bit by bit the charm faded. Then the charm went 'pop' when that Nanda guy got me her latest book as a Valentines' present and I spent all of six hours with my nose buried in it. 
I was disappointed. For a 'best-selling author' thrice over, the book and the story was only average. 

I don't have a problem with that.
Well, mostly because most recent Indian authors have disappointed me.

She posts regularly on her blog and I read every post religiously (I stalk all writers I can find on Blogger, bit of an OCD). And I have yet to find a post in which she doesn't mention her best-sellers or perfect writing skills or her perfect behavior in all manners of situations or her perfect life or the perfect people around her who are just perfectly perfect. She's always together, always has a condescending tone and a perfect answer to every question you can ever think of asking her. She never fails to mention that she has an amazing figure even after kids (I don't even understand why that's relevant to her work) along with what an awesomely well-rounded mother she is. She even gets her husband to write guest posts about what an amazing experience it is to have her as his wife.

She seems to have mastered the art of perfection.

I don't have a problem with that either. You have enough discipline to write a whole book, the grit to get it published and the guts to put yourself out there for the whole world to criticize and tear apart, you deserve to brag. Not that it's an excuse to be anything less that an exemplary writer but I'd understand. 

My question is: 
Can anyone's life be perfect? Can anyone's life go exactly the way they plan it, have all their wishes come true and never have any major problems to deal with? Can anyone take every single teeny bit of negativity that ever came their way and turn it into the 'most amazing thing' that every happened to them?

Even if you answer yes to all the above, is that how life is supposed to be?

Doesn't it take two weeks of bad food to attain nirvana with one piece of cheese-burst pizza? Doesn't it take tears to find out how beautiful happiness is? Doesn't it take hurt to find out how deep love can be? Doesn't it take mistakes to feel how satisfactory it is to be right? 

Shouldn't we mess up sometimes just to know what the other side is like.... to appreciate good things when they come to us?
If everything is perfect all the time, wouldn't everything become mechanical? Boring?
Or am I psychologically damaged? :P

P.S: No offense to the writer or her fans who might recognize who I'm talking about. She just got me thinking, that's all.

13 Mar 2012




A Life Without



Keep the

and the 

For you go around only once.

My heartfelt thanks to online sources for the wonderful pictures they provide for my posts. Especially this one.

8 Mar 2012

Coming Off At The Seams..

Of not being 'all that'.

Of not being able to breathe properly.
Of pain. Of illness. Of relentless damage to the psyche.
Of deadlines. Of shoddy work. Of pressure that finally gets to you. 

Of not being able to vent. Or talk. Or exchange glances.  
Of communication breaking down. 
Of watching people take off and put on masks right in front of your eyes.
Of not knowing what is right and what is grey.
Of needing. Of wanting. Of not having. Of disappointments, one after the other. 

Of saying the exact opposite of what you mean. Of not knowing how to say what you want to. 
Of wondering what you'll do when it finally happens. Of losing your best friend and soul mate, all at once.

Of being misunderstood all the time. Of being misguided all the time. Of feeling on the edge all the time.
Of being directionless.

Of watching the world go by and not wanting to join in for the first time.
Of wanting to let go. Of wondering if you'll be able to live in the shambles beyond.

Of being anti-social. Of being grumpy. Of having a temper close to the surface all the time.
Of boredom. Of cynicism. Of negativity. Of pessimism.

Of tears. Of broken dreams. Of memories of a better place.
Of wanting to go back to when things were nice amazing
Of wanting to feel alive and happy and unburdened again. 
Of being able to eat golguppas and hold hands again.

Of putting on a face for everyone else. Of going about like nothing is wrong.
Of hoping you see through it.  Of hoping you won't let go. Of hoping you ask me once more.
Of despair when you don't. Of feeling broken inside, all the time.

Of not being able to do what you love most. Of ignoring something that has always put a smile to your face. Of storing all the stories in your head and never putting them down.
Of losing inspiration to write. To go on. To live. 

Of uncertainty. 
Of trying and giving up. 

P.S: Nothing is actually wrong. This is me, in all my glory, being a drama queen :P