8 Mar 2012

Coming Off At The Seams..

Of not being 'all that'.


Of not being able to breathe properly.
Of pain. Of illness. Of relentless damage to the psyche.
Of deadlines. Of shoddy work. Of pressure that finally gets to you. 




Of not being able to vent. Or talk. Or exchange glances.  
Of communication breaking down. 
Of watching people take off and put on masks right in front of your eyes.
Of not knowing what is right and what is grey.
Of needing. Of wanting. Of not having. Of disappointments, one after the other. 

Of saying the exact opposite of what you mean. Of not knowing how to say what you want to. 
Of wondering what you'll do when it finally happens. Of losing your best friend and soul mate, all at once.


Of being misunderstood all the time. Of being misguided all the time. Of feeling on the edge all the time.
Of being directionless.


Of watching the world go by and not wanting to join in for the first time.
Of wanting to let go. Of wondering if you'll be able to live in the shambles beyond.


Of being anti-social. Of being grumpy. Of having a temper close to the surface all the time.
Of boredom. Of cynicism. Of negativity. Of pessimism.


Of tears. Of broken dreams. Of memories of a better place.
Of wanting to go back to when things were nice amazing
Of wanting to feel alive and happy and unburdened again. 
Of being able to eat golguppas and hold hands again.


Of putting on a face for everyone else. Of going about like nothing is wrong.
Of hoping you see through it.  Of hoping you won't let go. Of hoping you ask me once more.
Of despair when you don't. Of feeling broken inside, all the time.

Of not being able to do what you love most. Of ignoring something that has always put a smile to your face. Of storing all the stories in your head and never putting them down.
Of losing inspiration to write. To go on. To live. 


Of uncertainty. 
Of trying and giving up. 


P.S: Nothing is actually wrong. This is me, in all my glory, being a drama queen :P

61 comments:

  1. Of saying the exact opposite of what you mean. Of not knowing how to say what you want to.

    THATS ME! D

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  2. Oh..You got me worried for a few minutes...
    :-)....Drama queen,I agree

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  3. That's just too close to me for my liking.

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  4. "Of watching people take off and put on masks right in front of your eyes."

    My Fav line of them all!!! Cz right now I can connect so brutally to it...
    Good work!

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  5. Your words seem an extension of my thoughts today. Sigh.

    I love the way you have very modernly put this together. :)

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  6. hmm.. I can pick some lines I can relate to. Unique post. Creative in a strange way. Happy Women's Day PeeVee! :)

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    Replies
    1. Whatte depressing Women's Day post no :P Thank you.

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  7. You do realise that the post reads as a break-up post?! Thankfully you added the P.S. Miss Drama Queen...

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    Replies
    1. Oh no, no, not at all, not one bit :D They are also other people I'm talking about, not only him :)

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  8. I just can't stop myself from reading it again and again..you must know why... :-D confessions of a drama queen at its best...:)

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    Replies
    1. I surpassed myself with this one, didn't I :P

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  9. This is so ME. I mean every word, I felt like I've gone through it. Drama queen, your posts are much loved :D

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    Replies
    1. Awww, thank chikni. Mucho lowe <3

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  10. Of writing a beautiful post and making the reader smile. Muah!! =]

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    Replies
    1. Thank you, person :) Lovely dp you got <3

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  11. The P.S. did give some peace when you said nothing was wrong, Miss. Drama Queen :P

    Beautifully written :)

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  12. and what a drama that is all he he he :)

    havea great day and all other days toooo
    take care and keep smiling

    Bikram's

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  13. Hey Drama Queen...it is your life and you got to live it to the fullest! Have fun:)

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    Replies
    1. There is nothing more I want to Madame, thank you :)

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  14. I was already drafting out a long comment full of hope and butterflies. Glad to know nothing is actually wrong! Have a nice day, drama queen. :)

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    Replies
    1. I wish you'd posted the hope and the butterflies :)

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  15. Why do you keep complaining of shoddy work???:-) I think every writing...even the writings of great authors and writers can be improved in some way or the other if we look at them hard enough...Why be so hard on yourself??

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    Replies
    1. That wasn't the shoddy work I meant Rahul, I was talking about my course work. But thanks :)

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  16. Hmnn..a aprt of me is feeling a few of these emotions now. Good this isn't really your state of mind.

    You write well lady!

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  17. things for me are
    Of watching the world go by and not wanting to join in for the first time.

    Of hoping you see through it. Of hoping you won't let go. Of hoping you ask me once more...

    so many "of" but P.S was helping... :)

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    Replies
    1. Haha, thank you, glad you could relate :)

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  18. Could relate to so many things
    Of being sad yet happy and being happy yet sad

    Stay Blessed ^_^

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  19. The blues, the mood swings, the craziness. We all have the most beautiful and the most ugly person living in us simultaneously. What matters is which one we let be dominant.
    Keep writing. You rock at it. :D

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    Replies
    1. You really need to be non-anon :) Thank you so much.

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  20. hi hw are u?? sorry i am not able to follow ur blog coz they have put fortiguard on blogging sites. Great to read u after so many days. Touching post.

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  21. Love the label. HAHA.
    Of how most of those things are so damn true. Sigh. :P
    You can rant, its your blog. DUH.

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  22. I had to feed the title again to make sense of the whole post because in the end, I thought that the Post did not have a conclusion. But the post itself was the conclusion. Nice!


    Cheers,
    Blasphemous Aesthete

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    Replies
    1. There wasn't any order to this :)

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  23. This post should have been mine, I have that bit of drama running in me now :)

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    Replies
    1. Surprising, how many of us have lives that run parallel, no?:)

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  24. "Of saying the exact opposite of what you mean. Of not knowing how to say what you want to"

    So true... Love it when you vent out your feelings..An sure it connects with everyone... This looks like a rip off from everyone's lives.

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    Replies
    1. It does, no Jane? I'm surprised actually :)

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  25. Story of my life :/
    Or maybe even I'm just being a drama queen. We all have it in us I guess!

    ♥ www.thegirlatfirstavenue.com

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    Replies
    1. Et tu? You seem so together though :)

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  26. It must have took alot ''Of thinking'' to draw out all these drama!
    Haha. But it sure did speak my mind out :)

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    Replies
    1. HAha, not really, it comes naturally to me :P

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  27. Hey Priyanka, the sunshine award is waiting for you at http://www.sudeshnadas.com/2012/03/little-ray-of-sunshine.html

    :)

    PS - I don't want to call it being a drama queen. It's called being real, full of life, and honest. What say, girl? ;)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you SO much. For the award. And EVEN MORE for the change over on 'drama queen' :)

      Delete
  28. Thank God you added that PS there! :D
    Good one :)

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  29. I have been reading your posts every now and then and lovee what you write. Strangely your drama queen mode is kinda similiar to my normal mode now.
    P.S - borrowed two lines for status :)

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Go on, you can say it.