23 Dec 2008

Thinking Never Got Me Anywhere....

Here I am sitting in my uncle's place, in front of his system and checking out websites of various airlines....wondering if I'll EVER get a job. And I am thinking how life will be if I actually do get one..... I mean yeah, its my chosen field and all that but am I actually ready to take on something as huge a responsibility as a job and all?? I will actually be considered an employee of some company and people will actually start taking me seriously;) wOW!!

I know that sounds lame but then the thought kinda freaks me out a little. And all this free time (I know I sound like Ross of F.R.I.E.N.D.S saying that he's taking a sabbatical from work) has me questioning myself and my abilities......and this is what always happens when I am given time to actually sit and think. All the time, I take quick decisions and they hit or miss (thankfully hit most of the time) and there are always the ones who are crazy enough to love me who can bring me back to Earth if I start making any too-wild decisions.... But always, the doom of my life comes when I think. I think and think and think and finally manage to convince myself that nowhere is exactly where I'm going.

I have always been a kind of go-getter and anything that requires time doesn't really go down well with me. For me, everything has to happen quick... fataafat. Exams have to be finished in a week, results the next week, career decisions made the next, admissions got the next... actually I'd prefer everything done in ONE week. There has been a time when three major decisions was made by me in the same day and somehow I managed to convince Ma to agree to all of it.

My point is, I have always lived in this perfect world of mine where everything always works out my way but what happens when I get a job and everything goes the opposite to the way I want...will I start having a nervous breakdown ( most probably) or ll I manage?? The fact remains that I chose the road less trodden and small decisions & actions can make or break my career.

Is it just me or does everybody have a time when they wonder if they can actually deliver when it matters most or just break and fade onto a non-entity?