6 Jul 2011

Desertion



I sit by the window and watch the rain drops drip down the pane making long, straggly lines.

My head full of memories, roiling around like waves at high tide. My hand tightened on the mug unconsciously, his face kept popping up in spite of my best efforts to keep it out.

That dimpled smile. The brown eyes that searched my soul. The way he made fun of the way I eat carrots obsessively. The way he put his strong arm around me possessively. Orphan that I was, he taught me the meaning of ‘home’.

I had resisted his gentlemanly overtures. I just wasn’t interested in a relationship, least of all that. But he’d persisted. One long stemmed red rose a day till I had caved. And that wasn't the only thing either. I always made fun of him saying that he should write a book titled ‘Million Ways To Woo Your Woman.’

People say the magic lasts only till marriage. That was for pretentious people. We? We were blissfully happy, taking life on together. Or so I thought.

He was the only one who had gotten close enough to hurt me.

How could he do this to me? Ah, the million dollar question. I think wryly. Five years of togetherness, precious memories and full of hope for the future. But, apparently, that hadn’t been enough to keep him here.

Three days. It seems like eternity to me.

I had managed fine for 23 years without him, hadn’t I? How is it that suddenly he becomes indispensable? Nonsense. Shit happens and then we move on, don’t we? I reason.
But all my reasoning fails to hold my fragile world together. I know instinctively that I’ll never recover from this. And I’ll never forgive him for doing this to me. I wonder how long it will be before I can breathe properly again.

I choke up.

He’d promised me the moon and the stars and all that is in between. He’d promised me forever. The liar.

I should have known it wouldn’t last. Known that it was too good to be true.
I should have done things differently.
I should never have attended that call.

The call.
It haunts me. It was the stuff that nightmares are made of.

‘Is this Mrs. Nita Varma I’m talking to?’
‘Yes, may I know who this is please?’
‘Ma’am, this is Inspector Shinde from the Baroda police station. I am very sorry to inform you that your husband, Deepak Varma, has been involved in an accident. No survivors. I know this is insensitive but will you be able to come and identify his body?’



25 comments:

  1. OMG!! It was so beautiful n yet so heart wrenching.. reminded of tht song by Foo Fighters..

    beautiful post, Priyanka :)

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  2. Good work..reminds me of something I wrote a few years ago, about a woman who'd lost her husband going back to the house where they'd lived together years ago..only, u kept it short..I went on n on and that killed the essence:P

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  3. Lovely!!

    Terk jerker!!!

    I have to write something senti now!
    Now means now!!!!!

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  4. Awwwwww....sniff* sniff* Your post made me sad. Brightened up on seeing the ferrero rochers smiling at the header:P Following you from now on!

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  5. Beautiful post :) U just keep getting better <3

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  6. Oh, this was so beautiful! With every line, my heart kept beating faster and faster. You are totally hooking me up to your kind of stories :) :D

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  7. @ Raj, thanks:)
    which one? Titled desertion? I must look it up.

    @ Anu, put it up sometime na, I'm sure it'll be good. As for the length, I had to literally bite my fingers to keep it short, hard work.

    @ Red,do, DO. I want to know how you deal with senti after all those hilarious posts.

    @ Cloudnine, thanks for visiting! Awww, I'm glad that I made the sadness go away as well:) Thanksaton!

    @ Varun, fight more, write more?:P Thanks <3

    @ MSM, I just commented on your post, LOL.
    Thanks girl and good to have you back, btw. Hook me back with one of yours soon before I get swallowed up by mush :D

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  8. The start was romantic and slow and I was expecting a mushy love story.. then came a taste of betrayal and in the end a heart wrenching phone call.. well written girl! and I just couldn't predict the end and that is what a good writer does!
    Love
    Maithili

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  9. Senti queen you are!
    i'm sure i'll bite the mud if i try my hand at such fiction!
    Great one :):)

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  10. :( Why are you bent upon making me senti right in the morning? As if my job wasn't boring enough. :( Kattees!!

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  11. Touching. Yeah even i expected a different ending... couldn't guess it! Nice one! :)

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  12. Like pouring hot chocolate on ice-cream. :-)

    Loved it.

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  13. That had a different ending! God build up to the climax. Well written.

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  14. @ maithili, welcome:)thanks, I'm glad the effect came out as intended.
    @ Indumathy Sukanya, thanks!

    @ Divya, aww, don't be mad na 1)try looking at the chocolate around, you might just feel better:P and 2)your work doesn't sound that boring:)

    @ Chandana, thanks:) unpredictability is NOT my forte so it took some effort:P

    @ Phatichar, oh k, you need to stop saying stuff like that and making me crave like crazy:P
    Thank you so much:)

    @ zephyr,thank you!:)

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  15. Such a well written post with a heart wrenching ending; an awry.

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  16. Wow...gave me goosebumps! Especially because it is my worst nightmare! Great writing Priyanka!

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  17. @ Prateek, welgum back:) thank you, awry it is..

    @ Psych Babbler, on some subconscious level, I think it's mine too, hence the negativity in all my stories..

    Thank you!:)

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  18. hhmmmm....as someone said in the comment there seems to be Lovely love story, then a sense of betrayal butttttttt suddenly the end comes like shocking.....why did you kept the end so???

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  19. Ah, thank god you didn't end this like some sick forward sms, where it begins seriously and end with a pathetic joke.

    Very poignant tale indeed. You really have a wonderful style of writing. :)
    First time here. Such a lovely, chocolaty blog! ;)

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  20. @ Polo, thanks dude:) And expecting a full update post on how you're liking life as a Mumbai-ite\m/

    @ Irfanuddin, I'm usually a person who believes in happy endings but somehow there's an inordinate amount of sadness in them. But then, grief is also a very important part of life and this is my effort to give it it's due importance..
    Thanks for visiting!:)

    @ Karthik, welcome! haha, I know the kind, the one that makes you want to tear your hair out:P Thank you so much! My wee li'l chocolaty blog is glad you like her:D

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  21. @ Polo, thanks dude:) And expecting a full update post on how you're liking life as a Mumbai-ite\m/

    @ Irfanuddin, I'm usually a person who believes in happy endings but somehow there's an inordinate amount of sadness in them. But then, grief is also a very important part of life and this is my effort to give it it's due importance..
    Thanks for visiting!:)

    @ Karthik, welcome! haha, I know the kind, the one that makes you want to tear your hair out:P Thank you so much! My wee li'l chocolaty blog is glad you like her:D

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  22. Oh, this was so beautiful! With every line, my heart kept beating faster and faster. You are totally hooking me up to your kind of stories :) :D

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  23. Senti queen you are!
    i'm sure i'll bite the mud if i try my hand at such fiction!
    Great one :):)

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  24. This gave me goosebumps. Wow. Every story that I read compels me to comment and read more.

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Go on, you can say it.