Um. Hi.

Anybody here?  

I’m surprised you stuck around, thanks for that 😊 

Source

Yes, I’m alive. No, I did not lose the password and forget I have a blog. 

Yes, I feel suitably guilty about not blogging here.   

I always used to dismiss writers’ block as writers’ excuse for being lazy but, boy oh boy, did it turn out to be real. And supremely debilitating. Set off by a million reasons and one, some of which I’ve talked about here, I got to a point where I did not have a story to tell. From spinning murders out of thin air and writing some of my best blog posts in fifteen minutes flat, I went to a state of complete and utter lack of words. I read voraciously and tried to write the odd post here or on Instagram. But that was that. 

Cohesive, interesting sentences = impossible.    

It all started when my last relationship fell apart, I couldn’t write anything without whining and I DID NOT want to whine here. Then came the looming cloud of my own inability to complete things: at least ten blog challenges and several Instagram left incomplete over the years and it took me a long, long time to figure out that it was only the simple lack of planning that was sending me off the rails and not anything to do with me, the person. 

I was also disillusioned by the blogger world itself: my blog friends stopped blogging and, while blog hopping, I only came across those set up for contest posts and nothing else. The personal stories, the abstract pieces, the hey-how-are-you posts…. None of them existed anymore. Or at least none that I found. There was also the scratch-your-back-scratch-mine syndrome – while I understand that all pop media is function around this, people didn’t seem to know where they cross the line to plain idiocy.  

And then there is the fact that, the older I grew, the more disillusioned I became with people and this made networking difficult for me; I became terrified that well-meaning comments would be twisted into whatever different interpretations that furthered whatever the drama of the moment was. I did not know how to deal with adults who lack common sense. Still don’t. 

I also became a very different person IRL from the PeeVee who first started this blog. Someone who has developed strong opinions about things. I was worried about how the blog could become a space for ranting alone, because I didn’t have another outlet. 

As a result of all of this, even though I kept in touch with some amazing friends in the blog world and followed a few blogs religiously (as a ghost, but nevertheless), my writing suffered. 

ANYHOO, the point of droning on about this dukh bhari daastaan (LOL) is that I’m here again to see if I have any writing chops. Maybe I do, maybe I don’t, but that shouldn’t stop me from trying, should it? 

P.S: How do you like what I've done with the place? TELL ME!