16 Mar 2012

Pick! Perfection Or Messed Up

Sachin FINALLY got to celebrate. About time, I should think. 
But, with all due respect, if I read ONE more update with 'Sachin' or 'God' in it, I'm going on a blocking spree.  
And we lost. To Bangladesh. 
Moving on (before I launch into a rant)...

There is this author, yeah. Pretty famous I should say, from what I hear. I was initially very taken in with the whole idea of her, but, bit by bit the charm faded. Then the charm went 'pop' when that Nanda guy got me her latest book as a Valentines' present and I spent all of six hours with my nose buried in it. 
I was disappointed. For a 'best-selling author' thrice over, the book and the story was only average. 

I don't have a problem with that.
Well, mostly because most recent Indian authors have disappointed me.

She posts regularly on her blog and I read every post religiously (I stalk all writers I can find on Blogger, bit of an OCD). And I have yet to find a post in which she doesn't mention her best-sellers or perfect writing skills or her perfect behavior in all manners of situations or her perfect life or the perfect people around her who are just perfectly perfect. She's always together, always has a condescending tone and a perfect answer to every question you can ever think of asking her. She never fails to mention that she has an amazing figure even after kids (I don't even understand why that's relevant to her work) along with what an awesomely well-rounded mother she is. She even gets her husband to write guest posts about what an amazing experience it is to have her as his wife.

She seems to have mastered the art of perfection.

I don't have a problem with that either. You have enough discipline to write a whole book, the grit to get it published and the guts to put yourself out there for the whole world to criticize and tear apart, you deserve to brag. Not that it's an excuse to be anything less that an exemplary writer but I'd understand. 

My question is: 
Can anyone's life be perfect? Can anyone's life go exactly the way they plan it, have all their wishes come true and never have any major problems to deal with? Can anyone take every single teeny bit of negativity that ever came their way and turn it into the 'most amazing thing' that every happened to them?

Even if you answer yes to all the above, is that how life is supposed to be?

Doesn't it take two weeks of bad food to attain nirvana with one piece of cheese-burst pizza? Doesn't it take tears to find out how beautiful happiness is? Doesn't it take hurt to find out how deep love can be? Doesn't it take mistakes to feel how satisfactory it is to be right? 

Shouldn't we mess up sometimes just to know what the other side is like.... to appreciate good things when they come to us?
If everything is perfect all the time, wouldn't everything become mechanical? Boring?
Or am I psychologically damaged? :P

P.S: No offense to the writer or her fans who might recognize who I'm talking about. She just got me thinking, that's all.

100 comments:

  1. I don't think anyone can lead a perfect life as there is problems all the way.x

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. And you are really quick!:)

      If no one can, is she exaggerating? :\

      Delete
    2. 'Best (or perfection) is a matter of standards - and I set my own standards,' declared Howard Roark in The Fountainhead.
      This little sentence changed my whole philosophy of life.
      Perfection can't be fathomed, I believe. We are only as much perfect as we think we are.
      Then again, coming to the so-called "writer" in question, showing off has never been considered an etiquette of a perfectionist.
      And you spent hours reading her book? You are such a brave soul. :P

      Delete
    3. The other day during a VIVA, my teacher asked me, what I achieved in three years of college life, Like a proud brat I said, "one arrear, two acts of forgery, millions of friends, lots of fun, dirty wardens , warning letters, principal's calls, 3 new piercings and 4 hostels!" - very perturbed she asked me back, " do you really think 4 hostels in three years and lots of bad impression is an achievement?" I told her , " Maam whats the point of living, if everything went as predicted and perfect lay those pretty curls of hair? I want to fall, sheepishly smile and stand up again like nothing ever happened!"

      If life's a straight graph, where would the curves - smiles and frowns belong ? ;)

      beautiful message this post has! good Job!

      Delete
    4. I'm not quite sure if we are talking of the same author, but I know someone of the sort too. It could be anything, although I get from her recurring tone that her blog, and her language is her escape; her fire exit. I have a good friend interested in psychology and I get a feeling that ten minutes in the room as her, our protagonist would be in shambles.

      - R.R

      Delete
    5. @ Karthik, if I had listened to my friend and read the book earlier then I would have been that much wiser:/
      Hours ONLY because I hate leaving books unfinished :|

      @ phatichar, :P

      @ anjLi, brave soul, you said that? Brilliant answer:)
      And thank you.

      @ Rohit, we might be.... maybe she needs help. for being delusional.

      Delete
  2. I have no idea who you are talking about , but my curiosity is aroused...Now my sleep is lost..:(
    Yeah.. Life cannot be perfect , but just like the seas can be calm and stormy, there may a a longer period of relative calm for some people / more than others. While that's nothing to brag about since you never know when a ship wreck is going to happen, it may be true that her life is perfect ..for now. On the other hand , though it takes some problems to appreciate a problem free life, we should not go and invite problems just for the sake of enjoying a good time when it comes -Rather like the taking vomit medicine for a few days before a big feast so you can enjoy the feast..

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I know of people who actually do that :D
      Jokes apart, yes. But my point is, isn't our happiness/perfection meant to be shared with loved ones rather than rubbing the world's noses in it?

      Delete
  3. I'm curious about this person now. Can you direct me to her blog??? ;) [Email me or DM me]

    But, on a serious note, there is no such thing as perfection. I have written posts about how it is this striving for elusive perfection that is part of so many mental health problems. And unfortunately, it is people like these (call them celebs if you want) and movies that continue to perpetuate the belief of perfection being possible. Nothing is ever perfect. Maybe this woman is living an illusion or just wants to exaggerate to the world. After all, who knows what goes on behind closed doors???

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I have mailed you the link, do let me know if it's only me or she's actually how I described her to be.

      Delete
  4. I have had similar experiences with a few established bloggers. It always make me think how can always have such goodie good in life all the time. It seems pretty unreal to me.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It does, doesn't it? Like the movies.. only, movies don't claim to be real.

      Delete
  5. Perfection is always a direction and not a destination because if it were then one would be truly satisfied which one never is. The point you make about opposite experiences being complementary is actually something to ponder about.

    At this I cannot help but ask, What's with all the philosophy element in each of your last few posts lately? Transforming into seekers, are we?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That's what... Show me one human being who is truly satisfied with what he's got! A dissatisfied bunch, aren't we :P

      Seeker, I always was. Only that I ain't able to keep it out of my blog these days :/

      Delete
  6. No one can lead a perfect life... yes. But, they can sure be contended and happy with it :-). They might just be so happy inside ki every small thing might seem perfect. They might have mastered this art itna ki even what people say would not bother them. Sach kahu to...that's my dream you know..ki just be happy with whatever and two hoots to the world. That would indeed be perfect :-).

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Well, when you put it that way I want it too :) but the question is would you like to take credit for everything that goes right in our life rather than attributing some of it to God's blessings, luck and the influence of loved ones?

      Delete
  7. I don't think it's possible for life to be perfect. If you want to experience a perfect life then you need to experience everything it's possible to experience and learn from it so that you know how to do everything right. People cannot be perfect either. They can be perfect for someone else, but I don't think a person can be truly perfect for themselves. They can be right for themselves, and happy for themselves, but we're too harsh on ourselves.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. They can be perfect for someone else - I never thought about that. She is not harsh on herself, Mark, she is giving herself too much credit which is the problem.

      Delete
  8. He finally did it, I have been waiting to like an eternity for it to happen, Now what he should do is get one more century and sign off in style at height of his career and not let anyone blame his for sticking out there too long.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. People have already started that na... Predicting that he'll never get to 100... Even going as far as to call him a manipulator for using the 100 as an excuse for prolonging his career :|

      Delete
  9. It was a much needed win for Bangladesh. Also, a win-win situation. Sachin got his century and Bangldesh won. I'm actually happy for both :)

    I always think life is perfect. And then shit happens. :\
    Life only 'seems' perfect, I feel. :|

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Not to be teeny minded but I always pray India wins :/

      Delete
  10. Nope, there's no such thing as a perfect life. The most devastating things happen sometimes to the best of people, and even the wise ones do stupid things at times. The most awesome couples have their 'cat and dog' fight moments. So no, life is certainly not perfect and anyone who claims it, might in all probability be putting up a facade for the world.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. And it is up to us to realise she is portraying only the good side?

      Delete
  11. "LIFE" will never be the way we plan, if we think we need perfection in everything then we are not living the life. just leading it,after all we are not machines

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Like how we exist and not live? Thank you for the input :)

      Delete
  12. We can think from the other side of the spectrum, may be she doesn't want to bore the readers with her rants about imperfections. Who wants to know if she had a bad hair day or if she is in a totally shitty situation. We as readers, look for bloggers and posts that are cheery and happy as we already are burdened by our own problems. Will sharing the problems ease the writer's pain?. May be not and that may be the reason why she fails to mention her not so perfect life in her blog. Its just a reason ..

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That is one reason from the opposite side that I want to accept as true. I know firsthand how many people crib like there's no tomorrow :/

      Delete
  13. Perfection is just something we create as an illusion in our lives. How can life be perfect, when we do stupid things every second of our lives? I Dunno about the author but life is pretty much screwed up all of the time. So that whenever it does get good, it's the best thing that happens. Love, tears, pain, regret, are all a part of life. We never know where we are going sometimes, until we reach someplace. Hi5 for the cheese burst pizza line. And NO, you are not damaged. Let life be messy, as long as people you love are in it with you, for the long ride. Keep messing up . Keep Writing. :D

    -N

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I need that bolster now more than when I actually wrote the post and you commented :) thanks you.

      Delete
  14. I don't think anyone is perfect! And WTF, she makes her husband write guest posts for her blog! I have to bribe mine to read my blog posts!
    I think she is exaggerating (No offence to her readers!)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Same here... I have nag/make puppy faces about having no one to read to get him here in the first place:P
      Probably :/

      Delete
  15. life 's problems is what makes it worth living. i dont dream of living a perfect life, just a normal one

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Don't you strive for perfection though, M?

      Delete
  16. Well honestly I don't know the author you're referring to. But I don't think anyone's life can be perfect. Everyone has flaws and everyone goofs up. But yes, maybe she has a positive outlook towards it.

    Come to think of it, she might have just build a cocoon around herself, to feel everything's right. Or to 'pretend' being perfect. She seeks reassurance and that is exactl;y what she gets. Sometimes circumstances may drive you to that point.

    But I'd prefer an imperfect life. A new adventure every day. A new problem. A new lesson. Aint that how life should be? Or it would turn so monotonous and I wouldn't want that.

    Ahem, so you're sane :D

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. My sanity reassured of :D Thanks love...

      Delete
  17. Ah I recognize the writer..:P

    yeah there's NO fun in being perfect..its okay to fall flat on face at times..

    Cheers :D

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. In that case, my life is wonderful for I fall flat several time a day :D
      #PJalert :P

      Delete
  18. I heard this somewhere "If everything appears perfect, there is something artificial about it" :P

    ReplyDelete
  19. well... i guess i know the author you are talking about ;)
    As far is 'perfect' is concerned, it depends on person to person as how you define it. And trust me.. the person who 'shows off' to be happy are generally the most messed up people from inside

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. :D Almost every one seems to have guessed!!

      Delete
  20. How true! Perfection is indeed boring! I also believe it does not exist.People who try too hard to portray their lives are perfect are, in a way, hiding the imperfections! It takes rain and sun to make a rainbow!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ah, the unicorn way of looking at things :)

      Delete
  21. Oh, perfection is just this evasive idea you know. As you put it, it is the most boring thing. Mistakes, Doings and Undoings are what add to the spice of life and helps us grow. Those who seek perfection, never really live in the moment. I love the way you have questioned this. Brain fodder. :D :D

    And those who live seemingly perfect lives have most fucked up stories they never come to admit to or accept. Insecurities + Non-acceptance + ADD.

    PS: I miss you. Where you be?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. As usual, you have a perfect answer my lady :)
      I missed you too love <3

      Delete
  22. I follow her too and was always worried as to why isn't my life like hers? I mean, I'm not married and no responsibilities, still its far from perfect!! I've read a coupla posts written by her husband, and yeah it feels like a gun was kept to his head.

    Perfection sucks, imperfect is the new black and it rules. If this woman is so proud of having such a wonderful body even after being a mother of two, I challenge her! Give me 10 years, and when I'm her age with 2 babies I'd look a million times better than her. Again I don't want to be proud of it, but she seriously is asking for it!!

    I haven't wasted my time on her books, I don't read Indian authors as they always disappoint me. Poor you!

    I've always believed that people who yap about how happy they are or how perfect their lives are are the ones who are anything but that. The only way they can feel better is by showing off to the world even if they are faking it. Happiness and perfection is yours alone and not to be flaunted. If you are doing so, well, then take care!

    Sorry about the loooong comment, its a weekend and I pretty much have nothing to do out here :(. Also, a first rant from PeeVee, bada comment toh banta hai!! :D

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It does na!! I thought I was the only one :|

      I don't mean to demean her efforts and all that but she really should quit rubbing it in our faces. Again. And again. AND again.

      I have learnt my lesson, Sou. Never again.

      :D glad for the bada comment love, surprises me that I have actually inspired a lot of that :D

      Delete
  23. **Doesn't it take tears to find out how beautiful happiness is? Doesn't it take hurt to find out how deep love can be? Doesn't it take mistakes to feel how satisfactory it is to be right? ** picture perfect post :) still wondering... who is that author?!?!!?!?!

    ReplyDelete
  24. http://www.gautitherebel.blogspot.in/2011/02/is-there-reason-to-live-in-paradise.html
    :P

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh alive, you are? What happened to all the unfriending and ignoring? Got over it?

      Delete
  25. Maybe she too has some imperfections which she chooses not to show the world......
    everyone has them, the point is where are you looking? whether your problems or at your blessings, successes? Don't you think?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It's not about how we choose to look at our own lives, Tang. We NEED to see the blessings and success to move forward in our own lives.
      This was about her proclaiming that her life is perfect. When it might not be at all.

      Delete
  26. It's easy to polish over your life to make it sound perfect. No one wants to wash their dirty linen in public so they only state the good. But I don't believe that anyone's life is perfect. And besides perfection is overrated and boring so if anyones life was perfect wouldn't that in itself make it imperfect. I guess we all have perfectly imperfect lives.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. But her blog is supposed to be inspirational and all that jazz. Isn't she misleading people into believing in the perfection if she's just polishing over the bad bits?

      Delete
  27. Hey PeeVee, I always liked the Rajnikanth line from Padayappa.. no wait, it was actually a song.. :).. the 'vetri kodi kettu' one - translated meaning - "make each setback in life a stepping stone for success".. me thinks it hs a lotta meanin in the sense tht only when u deal with imperfection do u learn to appreciate perfection n strive fr it :)

    Damn, I wish I had a better figure n I never even had child birth.. now really, really curious - kaun hai ye authorwaali??? :)

    but damn those cheese burst pizzaz n damn u Dominos for tht "Get on more free" offer day before yesterday.. ek din, I shall make all these imperfections work fr me.. Amen!

    Till then, now where is that cheese burst leftover pizza...?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yus! Whether he 'entertains' or not, his movies used to have relevant messages to the society. And I happen to love that particular movie only for the Neelambari effect :D

      :D hai koi...

      Naah, you don't want the left over cheese burst... all the cheese dries up and it's all feeka-feeka :/

      Delete
  28. LOL!!! Nobody lives a perfect life, PV. We just feign perfection:P I wish i knew who this author is:P I am imperfect and so is everyone;)

    ReplyDelete
  29. Perfection???I thought that word was a meaningless bag of hot air...Nothing in this world is really perfect..If you look at things closely enough,you will always be able to come up with ways to improve in one way or the other...:-D So how come anybody or anything gets to be perfect??LOL!!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  30. Thank God my life isn't perfect. Had it been perfect I would have died out of sheer boredom.

    As per my little brain, life is life because of imperfections. :-)

    And if I am nodding my head in agreement to your beautiful thoughts then I too am psychologically damaged. So don't worry darling, you have a company. :P

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Your little brain is amazing-est :) For it has the same philosophy was mine <3

      Delete
  31. :-)

    sometimes perfection is based on how you see things and comprehend them...

    other times its worth the effort to piss people off :D

    ReplyDelete
  32. well perfection depends on how you perceive and view things...

    also sometimes its worth the effort to piss people off :D

    ReplyDelete
  33. Noone's life is perfect. You are right. Life would be damn boring if its that way, though we crave for perfection.
    May be she's trying to make people bored of life's perfection? or make people to be happy with their lives, unlike hers? or making you to think and hate her/perfection life and write this post? ;)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. :D The idea that she would be interested in anything else, except singing her own praises, much less inspire the rest of us 'mere mortals' seems absurd in the face of the posts she is churning out.... Not to be harsh on her but just saying.

      Delete
  34. Indeed, life is like that. You'd never know what good is without having an experience to base your judgement on.
    Well, having said that perfection is actually subjective, isn't it? While some like their coffee sugary and some don't, each one will term their cuppa perfect. So, I guess she probably is happy with what she has and that's just how she wanted it to be - perfectly fine by her ! I hope that's the reason.

    But yea, if everything just became how you wanted it to be (excluding the health and safety of your loved ones), it'd be boring. Everything within our hand's reach - mechanical. Even if all we ever wanted since young was that.




















    Indeed, life is like that. You'd never know what good is without having an experience to base your judgement on.
    Well, having said that perfection is actually subjective, isn't it? While some like their coffee sugary and some don't, each one will term their cuppa perfect. So, I guess she probably is happy with what she has and that's just how she wanted it to be - perfectly fine by her ! I hope that's the reason.

    But yea, if everything just became how you wanted it to be (excluding the health and safety of your loved ones), it'd be boring. Everything within our hand's reach - mechanical. Even if all we ever wanted since young was that.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. But the need to rub the rest of the world's faces in it? Every single post? That is, maybe attention-seeking?

      I like the cuppa description, btw :)

      Delete
  35. Exactly what I have been thinking when I read her blog. I thought I was being a sadist or jealous of her. Off late I stopped reading it cos each time I wonder how her life is near perfect and how mine gets screwed up time and again. ...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Don't worry Jane, it's not just you :/ I thought I was next to useless and had a crappy life.

      Delete
  36. Ok seriously?? Who is this author all of you are talking about??! Mereko bhi batao!

    Why would I want to be perfect? I'll never get a chance to improve, if I was. Perfection is relative. What may be perfect for me may not be for someone else.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. :P Toldja.

      And yes. Perfection is relative in it's entirety. Why would we want to show some one else that our lives are perfect then? We should no that they might not think that it's all that great.

      Delete
  37. Perfection is temporary.

    Imperfection always stay. And it makes our lives more interesting.

    Is the author whom u are referring have these initials - P.S (tell no, please, please - say yes or no , I will be at peace :P)

    ReplyDelete
  38. Figured out the author. Read all the posts. Agree with you.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. :D either you're a fabulous sleuth or I've been too transparent. Thank you :)

      Delete
  39. I think it's a coping mechanism. The more messed up someone's life is, the more they want to show the world how perfect it is because maybe that's what makes them feel better about themselves and their life.

    And if all the "perfection" in their life is indeed true, then they're not sharing the whole story. Public figures have an image to uphold. They probably don't want to let people know that they are similar to us common folk. Whatever be their reasons, I don't think you should take THEIR life seriously, unless it directly affects you!

    And I completely agree with you.. You need to eat crappy food to be able to appreciate good food (I love how you mentioned Cheese Burst Pizza), you need to cry to be able to feel happiness. And if someone hasn't been able to experience that, you should feel sorry for them; 'coz it's totally their loss.

    I hope that made sense! :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It did make a lot of sense. Maybe she's trying to cope but I'm more inclined to think its the latter... That she's trying to match the image she has. Either way, she has put me off as a reader :/

      You love cheese burst too? <3:)

      Delete
  40. totally understand the sachin statement :)

    If life was perfect it would be so BORING.. its the not so perfect that makes us work to make it perfect .. and thats where the beauty it to work for it

    who is the author you are trying ot mention .. email me please , I promise to keep it a secret .. cross my heart and all that pallava :)

    Bikram's

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Haha... I wish I could but wouldn't it make me petty? :D

      Delete
  41. Ah, the 'happy' blog types. I read a lot of blogs too - no, not as sincerely as you do but mostly because in an unfortunate twist of events, I took blogs to be my field of research. And I think, I could categorize them all into three types - the 'happy' blogs, the 'sad' blogs, the 'sane' blogs. You sure know which one mine falls under ;)

    But yeah, I am also really intrigued by the happy blogs. Their very purpose of writing seems to be to share to the world what a happy, awesome life they have. Now, I am not the most wonderful of human beings who get happy for others' happiness. Frankly, it irritates me at times. But it also gets me to wonder, are there people who are really that optimistic in life?, who can be absolutely blind to faults and failures and only focus on the bright side? And I think, Yes, there sure are. But over a period of time, when you keep doing that, there comes a dissonance within. And that, I bet, can kill.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Maybe it's not optimism milady, maybe it's sheer need to portray to the world their oneuppance over them.

      Delete
  42. Couldnt agree with you more!! If my life is going as planned even for a few days I get bored! I live in the world of sudden flat tyres, the screwing up important meetings, the foot stuck in my mouth, fashion faux pas! Isnt perfection the end of growth??

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you:) That's a nice way to put it, 'the end of growth'.

      Delete
  43. No one's life is perfect. Some people just hide their troubles or don't show them as easily as others do.

    ReplyDelete
  44. Such is life. Take it or TRY to take it as it comes, there's no option!

    ReplyDelete
  45. Talk about recent Indian authors. There're a couple of writers who write about sex and only about sex and sell like crazy. A friend of mine is even friends with one of these jerks. I really want to deliver a slap across his face. AND sound condescending and ridiculous. :/
    Moving apart from my set of stupid beliefs, perfection is annoying, isn't it? Somebody rightly said, what's so great about perfection when there isn't anything beyond it? AND AND. Is this post inspired by the article in Times Life say a week back on perfection? Black Swan brings out this message so well. Inspiring flick.
    And I am rummaging through your blog to get back on all I missed. :D

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh only a couple? Most of them seem obsessed with the sex theme. Bad grammar and crappy sentence formation doesn't seem to be a concern :/

      Exactly. Perfection leaves us with no room to grow... To experiment more.
      Not really, but now that you mention it, I'm going to go check the article out :)

      Delete
  46. I thought I commented on this one :s
    Anyway, perfection is way overrated!! :D I like your banner thats why, cause flawed and fabulous is the way!! :D

    but my life has always been far from perfect and I guess I like it this way :D

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. True believers of messy lives, we are no? :D

      Delete
  47. try and try, butsometimes it makes us impatient...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm sorry, try and try for perfection you mean??

      Delete
  48. haha...life is not perfect...perspective of life can be perfect, when u give a retrospective look at ur life wen ur eating bad food, your life tastes bad...and wen u retro inspect ur life midway thru ur cheese burst...ur life looks glittery...

    now assuming our writer frnd is not showing off...den she is the optimistic kind whose perspective is always towards a glorious sunrise..so long so good

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Perspective. Bang on, that is. It IS all about how we see it.

      Lovely pseudonym btw :P

      Delete

Go on, you can say it.