8 Jun 2015

Cut-rate

She was domineering - 
Interfering in every action, everything word of his. 
Her words were harsh - 
Kindness tiptoed around them and skittered away, 
Scared of the pitch they were said at. 

Her actions always laced with a sneer - 
A reminder of how inefficient, how futile his being was. 

Slowly, his love for her faded, 
His heart crumbled, wasted away in longing for approval, 
Her approval.
His spirit wilted and drooped 
Like the parsley bunch she forgot in the verandah
Left in the blazing summer sun for moments too long. 

In the dark maze that his mind became, 
He was waste of space manifest,
A counterproductive, pointless existence. 

Her conquest was complete.
Or was it?



Linking to the awesome A Prompt Each Day and Open Slather

P.S: Love your men, ladies, they have their insecurities too. And we have far more power to hurt the ones who really love us, than we realize. 


26 comments:

  1. absolutely. there's a limit, after which it becomes too hard to take. and the heart wilts. I like the comparison to parsley, and it just flowed, this poem. beautiful crumb, Cookie. ;)

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    1. :) thank you! Coming from the master of poetry himself!

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  2. Nailed the point, one too many times, women fail to see this point. That we are capable of hurting them as much, if not more. And we might shrug it off as a emotional outburst/vent while it would have crossed the line a bit too far.

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    1. Yes K, it comes easily to us. Should keep it in check.

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  3. So true, we need to respect each other in a relationship. I love the way you described the fading of love and the wilting of the relationship. I am so glad to have found your blog, this is some amazing writing :)

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    1. Thank you so much, J! :) So sweet of you :)

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  4. Wow - amazing that words can convey such imagery and so much emotion. I'm really feeling for that guy right now!

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  5. how unfortunate!!..a nice write :)

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  6. Men are extremely sensitive they just don't show it. If dont treat men with love and respect and more love you will lose probably them. Great write up as usual :).

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  7. That's an awesome poem. Something to think about where the men in our lives are concerned x

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    1. I'm glad you see it that way, Alicia, thank you for dropping by! :)

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  8. Gwad.. touché. There is this genre of woman as described by Ike in Runaway Bride 'man eaters'. They give you the love which is stillborn.

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    1. Wow, you really went on a comment rampage, didn't you. Thank you so much! :D

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  9. I now feel guilty of some things I have said to him :(
    But whatever it is, I love him and he knows that...

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    1. Aww :) its okay, nothing a big huge hug can't obliterate.
      And as long as he always knows that :)

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  10. With the changing times, it is the men who deserve more love and affection now.

    Beautifully put.

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  11. I will make sure to give my man some extra lovin' after reading that. I like to think we take pretty good care of each other, but you never know what the other might misconstrue a thoughtless word or action as. A lovely piece of writing.

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  12. Very powerful message you conveyed here. I have seen that relationship work when people are more considerate towards one another than being dominating.
    Beautiful blog you've got :)

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  13. More applicable when we take those men for granted...
    A nice one!

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Go on, you can say it.