Dear Diary,
The Indian Independence Day came. And went.
Now the mini-tricolors that everyone so proudly sported on the lapels and pockets are being ground into the dust under the heels of a vast majority of my countrymen. All that shor sharaba that happened on Saturday, did it serve a purpose other than scaring the living daylights out of my cats? I wonder.
What truly scares me is that, I, the once-proud citizen, who pointedly stood up anywhere upon hearing the anthem, who saved as many mini-tricolors from under everyone’s feet as I could, who defended my country to all the skeptics and haters, feel no pride in my country anymore. I am, rather, ashamed to call myself an Indian, today. What with having to pay taxes through my nose for public services I’m not getting, living in a system that is ridden with corruption from ground up, meeting people who still think it is okay for the girl to be hurt (because she invited trouble, didn’t she), and witnessing the epic failure of a judicial system that was crafted to be the best in the world.
I also question the point of our brave soldiers who are defending the country. Are they putting their precious lives at the altar of a country that does not deserve it? Or are we just tearing families apart on a whim, the whim of a nation that is long past its glory days with little, if any, hope of reclaiming it?
Today, I cringe to say I’m Indian. I cringe to think of the life I’m handing down to the next generation. And I feel bad. I feel bad about giving up on the nation that has fed me for 25 years now. I feel worse when I see the Americans celebrating the 4th of July with commendable patriotism.
The lack of pride has led me to another question:
If not an Indian, what is my identity, then?
A world citizen?
Am I brave enough to take on that huge a responsibility?
Love,
Me.
The Indian Independence Day came. And went.
Now the mini-tricolors that everyone so proudly sported on the lapels and pockets are being ground into the dust under the heels of a vast majority of my countrymen. All that shor sharaba that happened on Saturday, did it serve a purpose other than scaring the living daylights out of my cats? I wonder.
What truly scares me is that, I, the once-proud citizen, who pointedly stood up anywhere upon hearing the anthem, who saved as many mini-tricolors from under everyone’s feet as I could, who defended my country to all the skeptics and haters, feel no pride in my country anymore. I am, rather, ashamed to call myself an Indian, today. What with having to pay taxes through my nose for public services I’m not getting, living in a system that is ridden with corruption from ground up, meeting people who still think it is okay for the girl to be hurt (because she invited trouble, didn’t she), and witnessing the epic failure of a judicial system that was crafted to be the best in the world.
I also question the point of our brave soldiers who are defending the country. Are they putting their precious lives at the altar of a country that does not deserve it? Or are we just tearing families apart on a whim, the whim of a nation that is long past its glory days with little, if any, hope of reclaiming it?
Today, I cringe to say I’m Indian. I cringe to think of the life I’m handing down to the next generation. And I feel bad. I feel bad about giving up on the nation that has fed me for 25 years now. I feel worse when I see the Americans celebrating the 4th of July with commendable patriotism.
The lack of pride has led me to another question:
If not an Indian, what is my identity, then?
A world citizen?
Am I brave enough to take on that huge a responsibility?
Love,
Me.
It's hard when a country disappoints you. Sadly, the reality is that the world does too
ReplyDeleteEverything is just.so.frustrating.
DeleteIsn't it sad? I felt pretty much the same way too this year! :(
ReplyDeleteExtremely so. How can one not feel pride for one's country?! :(
DeleteStrong emotions here but something that I can totally relate to. I cringe a lot about the thought of being a part of this country. Everything that can go wrong is going wrong here. And it is a sad sad to just sit and watch it happen. Probably one of the reasons why I am planning on migrating to another country.
ReplyDeleteExit strategy seems best. But what if we are condemning the country to hopelessness? :(
DeleteAll the things you mentioned in the post irritate me too but I would never say I am not proud to be an India. I am. Our country has problems, I am not naive or stupid to say it doesnt. But then every country has its own share of problems. I think India is changing albeit slowly but there is progression. It will take time before its perfect but I will hope and try to get there someday.
ReplyDeleteI understand. I'm just demoralized. And disillusioned.
DeleteHopefully one day, everything WILL be better, like you say.
Valid questions. I consider myself as a proud Indian & a responsible world citizen.
ReplyDeleteYes, it's our responsibility!
Independence Day makes us think.
Wish we all celebrate our freedom judiciously everyday.
Responsibility to...?
DeleteI understand the sentiments...So many issues we have right..But we are still independent and one shouldn't lose sight of that.... We are a young country and it will take time...And don't form your opinions by seeing news, especially about how the men in uniform are being treated, just saying...No body wants to disrespect them
ReplyDeleteNobody wants to but what are their sacrifices for? :(
Deletehey,that was cool and mature post. if not indian,you can call yourself a human. we are first human,later we get a tag of nationality religion race etc etc.its better to stick to our basic classification HUMAN. world citizen sounds like united nations definition.is UN so honest in implementing its policies,its more influenced by usa and european union like india is influenced by politicians and corruption.
ReplyDeletei think usa has lot of issues like racism,corruption at higher level from lobbyists and they gave up their culture for capitalism which has made people lives very superficial.even after 7 years,obama could not change the whites mindset on people of colour.(there was article on nytimes why obama failed on this issue and it was written by white who has sympathy for blacks).its better to classify people in this world as natural humans and genetically (mentally) modified humans(corrupt and bad).
:-)
Is this Ramesh again? :)
DeleteWhat you say makes sense, but I don't see world citizen negatively, I meant not having a tag to one's nationality. Then again, 'human' works too :)
I'm not saying that the US is perfect. What I like is that, DESPITE all their blunders and problems, the citizens are STILL able to take pride in their country. That takes something. No? :)
its ramesh again. when i was kid,there was a joke doing rounds,RUSSIAN ,CHINESE AND INDIAN WENT TO GOD AND ASKED HIM A QUESTION ,WHEN WILL THEIR COUNTRY BE A DEVELOPED NATION?GOD ANSWERED BY GIVING TIME FRAME TO CHINESE AND RUSSIAN.WHEN IT CAME TO INDIAN TURN,HE JUST DISAPPEARED WITHOUT ANSWERING.people used to laugh over this like mad that even god can't change indians. irony is people who laughed over this joke too became corrupt or displayed indian behavior that's not productive.so how anyone can have hope on india with rampant corruption and disregard to rules.i don't find difference between educated and illiterates in india.how anyone can expect,india will become better.it just got worst with time.on i-day all the articles in tabloids were negative about india,it says truth about nation.a freedom fighter wrote " IF WE DREAMT OF THIS KINDA INDIA,WE NEVER HAD FOUGHT FOR FREEDOM,IN PAST ,BRITISH USED TO LOOT AND MAKE US SUFFER AND NOW ITS FELLOW INDIANS WHO ARE WORST THAN BRITISH ARE LOOTING INDIA."india got too much freedom to carry illegal practises and person who questions becomes anti-national or anti-society.how this kinda india can change.people who have hope on india are either brought up between four walls without knowing actual indian society or they are corrupt like most of indians. india is heaven for fraudsters and corrupt practises.one should be mentally imbalanced to have hope on such country.
Deletebest thing is to build a house in indian village and live in our own world when we are done with age and work.even if we migrate,life can be happy as long as we reside in asian country like singapore or japan or bhutan. in europe and usa,you can't live freely coz of race factor.its better to die in a tsunami or quake instead of indian population tsunami. thats really funny. if people who had lived perfect life without indulging in corrupt practises are not confident about india,how anyone who lives by any means can have hope on india,its just senseless. :)
Last Saturday, many of us felt the same... These questions indeed popped in my mind too...
ReplyDeleteThen, I decided and told myself - I am that change!!!!
Can we, you and me, by ourselves, make a difference? Do you believe that?
DeleteI am with you. I feel the same every time. After 68 years of freedom, where have we reached? Yes - things are much better but should we not compare ourselves with the best?
ReplyDeleteA very well written and honest post P!
Thank you, pretty lady.
DeleteYes, we should. And that's when we come up short.
I feel like we are being shortchanged by our own people, the people we put in power.
Ahhh...Bang on post and sentiments! I'd say I'm disappointed in India but still a proud Indian. Being abroad, I'm away from all its nuances and I choose to see what I want to see so its easy for me. Also, I have to do it this way, each of us abroad are a representation of the nation we come from, so I have to pretend I come from a great nation. I wish I felt the same way inside. But still India is home. If I don't call it home..what will be my home? Such conflicting emotions!
ReplyDeleteEXACTLY my point. I want to leave. I want to run away. But what if I do and there is nowhere to call my own?
DeleteEvery independence day, this thought plagues me and yet here I am whiling away every year. There are many who want this to change and many more who don't want this to change so that they can make more personal gain. Every time we step up with some good thing, there are people who find a loop hole and make a bad thing come out of it. It is a vicious cycle.
ReplyDeleteYes, migrating to some other country is the easy way out but that is not the right way, in my opinion. It is just running away from a problem and live in pretense that the new place is home. But come what may, we would know that India is always the home. It's the people who make it horrible.
Yes, indeed, that is exactly it. No one is able to stick to their guns because they are demotivated by the vast majority.
DeleteMight not be the solution to the country but definitely a solution to my need for a better life, no?
At times, I wonder if the word independent is really applicable. And yes, like you say, there are things that make it difficult to say with a hundred percent commitment that we're proud of the country on any given day. But I suppose we're in a better place than we were a few years back. The situation hasn't changed drastically, I agree, but I don't quite know if we're stagnant either. We're headed forward, slowly, I feel.
ReplyDeleteIt isn' really. Not when our minds are still imprisoned by littleness.
DeleteAre we really in a better place than we were? I beg to differ. I paid 40 rupees for a litre of petrol when started riding my first scooter. Now I pay 70+ rupees for the same amount. This vast a difference in just a decade? Really?