#madeofgreat

Written for the Tata Motors contest on IndiBlogger. 

There is this woman.

Love Unbounded

She laughs heartily at my jokes - jokes designed, exaggerated and enacted to get that precise reaction out of her and when she laughs, crinkles appear at the corners of her beautiful brown eyes while she absently brushes away the bangs that are her trademark.

She believes in me with a will – I doubt if anyone else will ever believe in me and my abilities and the person I am like she does – and she thinks I’m the best ever, which in itself makes me want to be better, do better, just for her.

She loves me so much that it almost hurts, hurts to think that I might fail that love.

She is so very cool – she thinks that a live-in relationship will help two people understand enough about each other to ensure that the subsequent marriage works.

She’s who I call Momsuey, the only person in the world I love unconditionally.  

This post is a part of Write Over the Weekend, an initiative for Indian Bloggers by BlogAdda.
 

Hospital Chronicles #1

When people say love is a weakness, I never believed it. I wondered how the strongest positive emotion that anyone can feel can become something that will disable them. 

Turns out, it is. 

As as it happens, I'm pretty useless when it comes to my mother. She is that single, most important person for whom I should be willing and able to do anything but apparently only the former is true. I'm only willing, my existence is pointless when it comes to doing something for her when she really needs it. 

She's in the hospital for surgery now; Inshallah she will be out of here before the week ends. 

But when it came to being strong enough to be her rock, I'm ashamed to say I folded faster than a pack of cards. She can't depend on me when she is weak for I can't bear to see her like that. I. Just. Can't. 

Don't get me wrong, I'm capable - I can do anything else, everything else for her. If I don't know, I will learn. I can run the household, take care of the dogs and cats, look into insurance, check the administrative blabla, call the nurse and whatnot but when she needs someone, family, next to her to assure her that everything is okay, I am useless. If I end up being by her side, she'll be the one doing the assuring and I'll be shamelessly weeping my face off. 

So I'll plug my earphones in, update nonsense on Facebook, share songs like crazy on #nwplying, play Snoopy Coaster and whatsapp everyone in the world to pretend that everything is alright with my world. Lying to my own mind that everything is just fine and praying real, real hard. Because the alternative is not anything that I even want to think about.

Crux of the matter, I hope I don't love anyone as much. Not now, not ever. For this kind of love makes me weak when I want to be the rock that she can lean on anytime, any day.