The One With The Makeover

So I finally found the inspiration to give ze pore ole blog a makeover, as best as I can. Updated the pages, found my long-lost awards page and showcased all my puranewale banners. The social media icons actually work this time and I am so proud that I did it myself AND got it right :P

But the creme de la creme is the banner; I realized, after my very first one, I never had a banner with chocolate in it, so I went overboard with this one. Two whole days of obsessive not-working-in-the-office and staying late (for the fast Wi-Fi) has payed off with the results you see. 

That's before and after, right there.

Anyhoo, the thing is, I never promote my blog in the real world, I don't share it on my personal Facebook. I never told my colleagues I had a blog even and when people ask me to give them the link, I brush it off and change the topic. Not that it is difficult to find if you know my real name, but still. I always thought it's because I write a lot of personal stuff on the blog, details, that I am more myself here than I can ever be in real life (because I find it difficult to open up in real life, as it turns out), but I realised yesterday that it's because I simply care too much.

The blog has become a very big part of me, it's highs and lows reflecting the highs and lows of my own life. I am immensely proud of everything that I have put in here (blonde, shrill, stupid posts included) and I am immensely proud of what the blog has given me. So when someone reads the blog for the first time, I get real nervous about what they will have to say. And I'd rather not show them, than hear something negative. Sensitive like that, I suppose. Not healthy, I know.

I'll stop with the Oscar speech now. Temme how you like the new stuff. And if anything doesn't work the way its supposed to. And if its taking too long to load.

And most importantly, thank YOU people, you know who you are. The ones who have stuck by through all the disappearing acts and still come back to check if there is a new post. Still say that you look forward to new posts. The fact that I still have comments despite not having been active around here in forever has been the biggest motivator to get going again.

Thanks a ton.

Metamorphos-ing

Change.


For a long time, I and Change have had issues. Change meant loss of familiarity, loss of the comfortable-ness, loss of patterns and schedules that I work so hard to create. And that scared me beyond all reason, I was afraid that any semblance of order that I have in my life would go flying out of the window and the ruckus that will prevail then will lead to failure. 
To losing my ability to do it right. I wrote a post about how the change that looms large is weighing heavy on my head and heart. Outwardly, I chin-upped at Change and said, bring it on. Inwardly, I trembled like aspen in a storm. I was afraid of giving up control.


Right down to when I got obsessively compulsive about little things like re-installing my OS for fear that I would lose everything I worked so hard to compile.


Then, change brought good things. Change showed me that love doesn't have to hurt all the time. That accepting your faults can be a good thing. That apologizing even when it's not your fault can save my own mind from going around in eternal circles. Change can make a best friend out of a mother whom I claimed had never 'understood' me.


Change shakes things up when they have settled down to make sludge. Change keeps the flame alive, change keeps things interesting. Change kicks monotony's ass. Change inspires. 

Change can be a good thing too.