Wishful Thinking [BarAThon Day 6]

Summertime Sadness

When everything is just *this* far from perfect, when everything is just *this* far from complete, that feeling at the pit of the tummy and that blank space in the confines of the mind that leave you distracted and not in a good way but dreamy in definitely a good way. Is there a word for it? 

It is not as simple or exciting as "intriguing" but it is not as sad as "melancholic" either. 

 

I find it easy to lose myself in the world of the whimsical these days.... dreaming of summers by the beach, rainy days by the hearth, plenty of books and food and words and sitcoms. And cell phone signals.

It is probably because reality is stark, black and white and boring.

I'm not complaining, life IS good, I'm where I want to be.

But the heart always yearns for the stuff that quotes are made up of, dunnit?  

 

U - Utopia

For her Utopia was where she owned a wall full of books, a roomful, a houseful even. It was where she was capable of making strawberry preserve and scones just like Enid Blyton described it. In Utopia, she would sit down with her five friends who loved her unconditionally, and she loved them back too, and have the scones with clotted cream and her own preserve while they racked their brains to solve the latest, most baffling of mysteries. 

For her Utopia was where she could write at will and the words that came out would be so perfect that people would be transformed, their lives would be bettered. But in Utopia, she would be euphoric, not for the appreciation of the work, but the perfection of the words that came out of her pen. In Utopia, she would put a fine-nibbed pen to crisp, white paper and she would write her heart out without the distractions of the world pulling her away from the stream of words that bubbled from within her. 

For her Utopia was the perfect pain of tattoos, artwork that was as beautiful and complicated as a fine filigree work of lace or a monument dedicated to a loved wife. In Utopia, the pain made her a better person and the memory lasted a lifetime, etched on her skin. 

For her Utopia was where her family was complete, where the family was safe and sane and well-fed and well taken care of. In Utopia, there would be no blank spaces in family portraits which were complete only in the wonderful memories of the years gone by.

For her Utopia was love so strong that it went all the way from secret giggles to wrinkled hands by the fire and she knew that 'death do us apart' was that one part of the vows she took that would not come true, for their bond would last beyond just a lifetime. In Utopia, the crests of the waves always came crashing down but never failed to rise into another crest – only because of the presence of the rock, her rock.

For her Utopia was where the world was peaceful and green and had the best of men overlooking things, like God’s angels, only not so fictitious. In Utopia, everyone co-existed and minded their own businesses because they had realized that that is the only way to be a truly enlightened race if they were to survive the next great change that the Universe might bring to them.

For her Utopia was where she learnt from mistakes and never made them again, where she was truly happy in the sun and the sand as much as she was in the blankets that protected her from the sleet. In Utopia, there was nothing, really, that could get her so down that she couldn’t...wouldn't bounce back up after a few dark moments.

 
And guess what, she does live in her Utopia for no one can take away the strength of her dreams and her will to make those dreams, reality. 

P.S: Just being whimsical, bear with me.

A Clean Slate To Scribble On

2013 - a year that saw me through some of the toughest times of my life. And yet, when I look back I fondly recall memories, incidents that have played a huge part in making me the person I am today - resilient, willing to take on change by the horns, someone who is finally comfortable with her own company as much as others'. I made the choice to fall out of touch with almost 90% of people I knew, almost everybody became somebody that I used to know. But a select few stuck on, despite my best efforts, and now I know how important those few are to me.

The year has been one where I have completely let go of discipline - no fixed schedules, no planning, no control over what goes into my mouth from the plate, no budgets, no nothing. And I have learnt that discipline is the only thing I need to get to my goals, everything else I already have.

I recovered from failure. And I learnt that all it takes to not let it get to you is to have the right people around.

I broke almost every rule I had for myself one time or the other and today, I have become better for the experience than worse. I won't bore you with details, we all walk similar paths strewn with similar roadblocks, so you know what I'm talking about. Which is why....

....2014 - I know it is going to be a great year, not because I went to two temples and prayed my heart out (a redundant belief but one that gives me peace of mind and makes me guilty for my sins at the same time) but because I am going to make it so. A great year where I'll read more books, write more meaningful words, learn my lessons. I'll achieve the goals I have set for myself and I'll have fun doing it. I'll smile a lot more and relish each moment instead of being the procrastinating prat that I was last year. I'll go easy on the sarcasm and the temper. I'll make the people I love happy.

This year, I have no resolutions. This year I only have the will. The will to reach out for what I want and get it.

May 2014 bring to you all that your hearts desire, folks. Coz that's all you really need.

To Roam The Lands Like A Spirit Free

Farzana and Twisha liked a photo of the Eiffel Tower on Facebook and that was enough to send me off on yet another tizzy of uncontrollable wanderlust.

Somewhere along the way I woke up to the fact that without even realizing it, I have been dreaming of going to Paris all my life, not because it is the city of love and I am sappy but because I'm a true Arian who loves the quaint, adventurous, classic beauty of the city in all the photos and pictures that I hungrily devour with my eyes.
Some say Paris is over rated. But I don't think that's the case at all. Or it might just be the images of luxurious opulence that is the Champs Elysees playing tricks on my mind. 

Actually, its not just Paris, it is the whole of Europe with its exotic, alluring charm, quaint accents and wonderous cuisine that draws me into its never-ending loop of storybook beauty, the kind that I grew up reading about and dreaming of.

I'm finding hard to resist the wanderlust as the days go by. I stalk travel blogs silently, envying the creators, wishing I was them. I fear that one day, it might just get too much for me to handle, that I will blow my ties to the world away to pack up and leave...

....in search of all the breathtaking, mind blowing, spectacular cities that I so so yearn to roam.

What I fear even more is that I might be buried one day, some day without having my breath taken and my mind blown, in which case, the photos will be everything and all that I'd have seen in a lifetime.

I leave you with a few images, take one look and tell me they don't make you sigh for lands unknown. If they don't, then you have yet to experience the deep, relentless pull of wanderlust that can make you sigh like no kind of lovesickness can.

Spain - Of fiery bulls, beautiful women and the above.

Rome - Grandeur. Period.

Ireland - Oh, the castles! *sigh*

Portugal - Complete with cobbled pavements and a fruit market in the distance

England - The picture has so less, yet says so much to me

Italy - Tell me, your breath caught. Do tell me.

Paris - My beloved darling, my muse on even the least creative days

Venice - How can this not be the best way to travel?