I wasn’t going to post today, I was going to work on collating the 300 lists that I have made for 25-by-25, 30-by-30, and 101-by-1001 which I started writing probably a year ago. But the overdose of poop/potty-related posts in and around the blogger world (I read four poop-related posts in two days, gotta be a record of some sort) and an incident in the office washroom have prodded me to posting this.
I’ve written about my washroom OCDs and how I try my best to not subject myself to public washrooms. But on those occasions that I do, my sweet Lord, they make me regret it.
I’ve written about my washroom OCDs and how I try my best to not subject myself to public washrooms. But on those occasions that I do, my sweet Lord, they make me regret it.
- How do you manage to get footprints on the seat? No, wait, you did WHAT? Oh no, you didn’t! You didn’t use Western pot Indian style, did you? You did? Wow. Just. Wow.
- WASH YOUR HANDS, MAN. WASH IT NOW. BEFORE YOU SAY HI TO ME AND TOUCH MY TEE WHICH I WILL HAVE TO HACK TO BITS IF YOU TOUCH ME WITH YOUR UNWASHED HAND.
- How about Googling the concept of a dry toilet? Sounds interesting? It has nothing to do with not drinking liquor in the toilet and everything to do with not using the hand shower to bathe the washroom itself. Or are you re-enacting a rain-drenched scene in a Bollywood movie? In which case, I request you to fuck off to your own washroom and do what you want there; I haven’t sinned enough to deserve sitting on wet toilet seats. Jaa Simran, jee le apni jindagi, apne toilet main.
- IfyouleaveyourusedsanitarypadforthecleaningstafftofindandIevercatchyouatit, (menfolk, focus now), I promise you, I will embarrass the living daylights out of you. I will make sure the entire building knows you by name. I will take you down in a way that will make you cringe every time you open a new pack of Stayfree. Pinky promise.
- For the love of all things holy, eat right. No, I don’t care the least bit what your health readings are. What I do care about is the health of my nose hair. Which catches on fire when I smell the surprise aromas you leave for me in the washroom. And burn to death. Making me nose-deaf (coined by a dear ex-colleague of mine that makes perfect sense in context, so go with it) till I can grow new ones. Please, have mercy. Or hold it in till you reach home.
- How is it so difficult for you to flush? So...what?... You sit on the pot, finish your business, wash…. and then walk out? Do you not look back to see little bits of wonderful that originated from your esteemed butt adorning the watery depths of the PUBLIC commode? Or are you just so pleased with yourself that you want to subject the next user to the creativity of your skidmarks?
Okay, I'm done.
Ok people, this is serious matter.
ReplyDeleteMind the surroundings and "shit" properly.
:P
DeleteUgh, Ugh and Ugh again. 'Apni Zindagi apne toilet mien'.. such sense.
ReplyDeleteI know, right.
DeleteHaha! I've been having too many poop-related conversations lately!
ReplyDeleteAbout the stall you asked, he sits right across starbucks in Koramangala near a huge ATM..can't remember which one :|
Tell me about it..
DeleteThanks! :)
Haha this post is funny, and of course we can all relate!
ReplyDeleteHeehee, thanks for dropping by!
DeleteI have stopped using public washrooms!!! But sometimes... *sigh*
ReplyDeleteI know :/ Almost makes me want to invest in a portapotty for me alone.
DeleteLol...there are some public toilets here where you will find images of how to go to the toilet. Standing on the seat and squatting has a cross on it. And yes, I don't get the non-flushing and the sanitary napkins been strewn around either. So very gross!
ReplyDeleteI KNOW :/ We can just avoid going to those stalls but imagine the plight of the cleaning staff, I feel so sorry for them sometimes.
DeleteToo many poop related conversations indeed. Maybe it has to do with 'Piku' or something :P
ReplyDeleteI agree with every point of yours. I have weird OCDs when it comes to loos at well. At office, there is this one particular pot I use always. There are twenty others around, but I just use this particular one. If it is engaged I wait for it to get vacant (even if I'm bursting with yoo hoo), get it cleaned and then use it. The housekeeping staff hates me for it, but I am what I am.
Its like Piku unleashed the need to talk about poop :D
DeleteI understand completely, I have a favorite one too but I'm not THAT particular because ALL of them are icky in my head anyway :P
Haha.. This one really makes one think as to how do people manage to do such weird things with public toilets..! And it's just so same when it comes to Public toilets.. I just can't stand them.. OCD I guess.. will come up with my OCD list soon..
ReplyDeleteVery well written :)
Cheers
I know, right.
DeleteThanks for dropping by, Geets :)
I have four children. The amount of times I have had to look at someones poo, or clean wee off the seat or the floor... let's just say, a clean toilet is my dream.
ReplyDeleteWoah :O
DeleteMoms are the bestest, you rock Jess :)
quite a perspective, we all feel the same :)
ReplyDeleteThanks for dropping by :)
DeleteUgh! This is why the thought using of public toilets makes me want to have Mother Earth to swallow me.
ReplyDeleteI know :/
DeleteI visited you blog because I visited mine (ha) to post (rmt) after a good fivemillionyears and saw your comment left on my own poopy post.
ReplyDeleteWith respect to your abovementioned post, I must affirm that I have nodded to each of your points. If I had to nod at each point for the number of times I have experienced each I should turn into a bobblehead. A broken one which had bobbled a bit too much. Also, I experienced all but the first today. And that's just in one visit to the public loo. To point number 4, the distress used item was actually out on the floor in the middle of the main area, nowhere near a cubicle or bin. I avoided the area, then decided that as the cleaning lady was not around, the yellow plastic 'wet floor' A-sign propped up by the hand dryers could do with a walk to cover the offending item (sorry, sign).