12 Mar 2018


I woke up this morning, dreaming of my Appu (grandpa). I was putting together a plate of dosa and sambhar for his lunch, Ammu (grandma) giving me instructions on what to put where (because Appu is very particular) and telling me to take it to him before it gets cold. I go hand him the plate, he takes it grumpily (because, as always, SOMETHING is not perfect), and sit by his side. 

Then on an impulse, I reach out and stop him in the middle of something, and say I'm sorry for being mean to you, I'm sorry I don't spend more time with you, I'm sorry I didn't tell you that I'm so thankful for being MY Appu, that I'm so damn proud of you. Then I kiss him on his stubby, slightly sunken cheek. 

He turns around and looks at me, happiness in his eyes. He gives me a one-armed hug and goes back to grumbling about the sambhar. 

But now it is too late for this dream to actually play out, I have only myself to blame.   


  1. :( Big hugs lovely! I like to think they can still hear us wherever they may be, so it's probably not too late to tell him that and he will be listening. x

  2. *Hugs*. I know the feeling. I feel the same way about my Tata (Grand Pa) too. After my mom passed away my Grandpa became my pillar of strength, my friend, my adviser, my pretty much everything. But unfortunately I never told him how much he means to me or how much I love him. I was busy being a stupid teenager.

  3. That was a sweet dream. A little sad too. We become aware of so many things only in retrospect and wish we could change the way we responded to people and situations.


Go on, you can say it.