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23 Nov 2015

Life Hacks for Bad Conversationalists

#5: Don't try to replace the awkward silence with forced conversation, it will almost always backfire on you and make you wish for a time when your foot was not in your mouth.

#4: Know that the most painful of conversations will happen when you meet another kindred soul. But if identified early enough, you can cut off all desperate attempts and revel in comfortable silence that only people who understand each other can share.

#3: Resign to the Fates and accept the fact that labels like "too much attitude" and "snooty" are going to be attached to you, despite your best efforts. Explain where you can, ignore where necessary, flip the bird where it gets too much.

#2: Quit explaining to your best friends that making conversation is very difficult for you as they will not stop believing that the side of you that they can't get to shut up is the only side you have.

#1: Take comfort in the fact that some times, some very rare times, when you have your nose buried pointedly in a book, someone will hesitantly strike up a conversation that you don't want to get involved in. But because of their interest in what you are reading, it will be one of those epic conversations that you only read about, the ones that you will remember for all your life, verbatim, right down to the last details and quirks. These are the conversations that make it worth enduring a lifetime of awkward silences and foot-in-mouth dialogues for.