what are you like at 3 a.m.?

are you asleep? are you sleeping on your side and dreaming grand dreams of motor racing? or are you having nightmares of stepping off a building into oblivion like me? do you have one leg over the pillow you clutch to your heart, holding on for dear life? or are you curled up in a ball, lost in a sleep wormhole where everything is quiet and dark and very dead?

are you slightly tipsy and dwelling on the vagaries of life? are your fingers trying to find the peanuts, while your glazed-over eyes look distractedly at the water marks on the wall and your mind is looping around everything that has happened in the last week, month, and year?

are you slouching on the couch, with the cats asleep on either side, flickering images rushing past on the screen barely grazing your eyes? is your mind far away, teetering on the edge of consciousness, trying to focus on separating reality from imagination and imagination from what is playing on the screen?

are you texting him? are you sitting with a book by the window, pretending to read while you sneak three glances at the smartphone display every three minutes? are you telling him that you are wearing skimpy nothings, hoping for the conversation to lead to more because you feel irate and needing?
or are you actually reading? turning page after page feverishly because you need to know what happens next? are you frustrated with your eyes and your powers of comprehension because they are not capable of galloping at the same pace of your mind? have you lost track of time completely and you do not realize that it is almost dawn, for all that matters is what happens to Ellacott  in the end?

are you dancing the night away right into the morning? are you celebrating your love? Or your freedom? are you swishing your skirt right into the arms of a willing suitor or are you playing games with that cutie at the bar? are you tired? are you massaging your calves surreptitiously because the peeptoes that make your ankles look like a million bucks are also causing them a world of pain, especially when you want to really, really dance to that new track?

are you talking to a friend? are you telling them that their significant other is not worth the tears they insist on shedding for them? are you shushing their heart-rending sobs trying to calm them down enough to see sense while your mind is working up a storm of ideas to murder the pig that broke their heart? are you vowing to be a better friend next time? are you thinking of a just-because present for them because you really want to see their smile break out of the dark storm clouds?

what are you like at 3 a.m?
i want to know what you are really like.