An Open Letter to Ms. Blunderhead aka The Teenager Me

Hello Dumbass,

You need some tough love, and I’m here to give it to you.

I hope you realize how excessively silly you are being. Even if you don’t, you are going to have a rude awakening in a few years. I detest (not using the word lightly) who you are, I’m glad I stopped being you and became me, no matter what the cost was.

Stop picking fights with Amma. She is all you have and she is the only one who is going to stand by you, unconditionally. That’s right, I forgot, do you even know the meaning of unconditional, you brat? Also, your idiotic ego and flaming temper are going to be the death of you. If you change right now, you can save yourself a lifetime of learning.

You might be annoyed at Ro and So now but you are going to miss them like crazy when they leave. Also, take advantage of the fact that they are minute little twerps now, they are going to be 6’ 2” and 5’ 6” soon to match and exceed your puny 5’ 2”. They are going to be giant little twerps and you are going to worry unnecessarily about them and you are going to be inordinately proud of the people they are going to become.

Stop looking for acceptance outside. You don’t need it. You don’t like music? It is okay not to. You don’t want to wear bangles and bindis, it is more than okay not to. You don’t have to get three zillion ‘churidhars’ stitched when you are uncomfortable it them, just to fit in. It is a struggle, I know, but trust me when I say, nothing in your current life is going to matter in a few short years, except family.

Don’t depend on people, unless they are your own. And ‘your own’ has a very specific definition, okay? Not every person who smiles at you and says three nice words is a friend. You are going to be incorrigible in this department but try and change, won’t you?

Reading is going to be your savior. You will be you because of them and you will proud of that identity. You are going to fall off the wagon in the near future, but you will get back on.
I like your humility; I still have it, but don’t let that peter down to low self-esteem. You are quite talented and together for your age and you should realize that.

For the billionth time, you are not fat. You have never been fat. But you are going to be fat. Listen to all the harping your family is doing, what they are saying now is going to come to pass and you are going to have to work real hard then. But on the other hand, you are going to love running, can you believe that? :P I can hear that snigger all the way into the future!

Don’t sell yourself short in love. Don’t. It is going to fuck you over so bad, you aren’t going to realize what hit you. It is going to change who you are at your very core, and not in a good way. Having trust issues is a good thing for someone like you, grow some trust issues. Luckily for you, you are never going to regret all the falling in love you are doing now, but you are going to regret all the trusting you did.

On a related note, there is no The One. There is no perfect other half, there is definitely no lobster. The sooner you rid yourself of these notions, the better your relationships are going to work.

All your disappointments are going to be swept away in the wake of what life has in store for you. It is definitely going to get easier, better. You just have to ride through the tough patch and you know you are capable of it. But also know that nothing you are going to plan for yourself for any part of your life is going to happen. And your (im)patience is going to be tested to the last fibre. Life is going to go someplace you never imagined for yourself but in the best possible way.

Stop trying to fit in so hard; you are never ever going to fit in with the people around you for years to come until you find your niche, so stop trying. It is a GOOD thing that you don’t fit in. Really. I’d disown you if you fit in now.

You are never going to learn to play chess and you are going to hate every board game, except monopoly, so save yourself the trouble and stop pretending to like carom.

Just get your shit together, stop daydreaming so much, clean your damn room more often, and stop pissing Amma off without reason, okay? Also, study harder, you know you can – you’ll do okay but you will always wish you had done better.

Most importantly, stop thinking so much and take life as it comes because you are going to have to grow up soon. And thank you for making me who I am today. Your choices mattered.

Love,
Me.