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2 Nov 2015

My Social Life

You like watching me. 

You like knowing that I’m up and my hair is in a ponytail and I’m wearing a pink tank top that has “Drop It Like A Squat” written on it from my Instagram selfie. You like knowing that I burned 403 calories during my run from my screenshot post. You like finding out that I ran in a different park today from my caption that says I liked the new trail. You like watching me make breakfast, you know that I’m craving something other than my usual overnight oats today. You like it that I like my omelets well-cooked – all from my live Periscope.

You know what I’m wearing to work today from my #ootdselfie. You know that I had a bad day, I’ve been live-Tweeting all day about how my boss is an old grumpus. You tut-tut at my boyfriend, he is supposed to have been by my side, right? My relationship status change on Facebook tells you that he is not. That jackass. My sad Snapchat face breaks your heart and you save a couple of screenshots to savor my pretty pout at a later date. You look up my number on TrueCaller and ping me on Whatsapp, telling me not to lose heart, that life has better things in store for me. I ask you who you are. You tell me you are an ardent fan. That you are a connoisseur of my life. I’m only a little creeped out, but a lot flattered. You lol text me at my Twitter joke and tell me that my new blog post is very interesting and that you like three of the five songs I posted.

You find out about my dog from my Whatsapp profile picture. You wait till my last seen changes to online and then offer your condolences. You get a kick out of seeing typing...You also offer a little feng shui advice – that table I keep by the entrance and my second shoe rack with my formal shoes on it might be blocking the positive energy from entering the house. You tell me that I should probably move the shoe rack into my coat closet and put that table by the window and use it as a breakfast table during the week and a tricep dipper during my weekend bodyweight workouts. It might also be a good place to hang the new gold-trim mirror I bought last month and will most certainly get my mother off my back for she is always stubbing her toe at the table when it is near the door – welcome positive energy and better utilization of space, right?

I’m grateful for the advice but I’m struck by realization.

All at once, it terrifies me how much you know about me without ever having met me. And I don’t even know your name.

P.S: Such BIG parts of our lives are online today. The possible complete lack of secrets terrifies me.