6 things I wish I’d never done
- Shouldn’t have ordered dessert. The buttons of my jeans are going to burst, ping off the walls and land in the main course of the cute guy at the next table.
- Shouldn’t have done fifty squats on the first day. Not only can I hardly feel my legs now, I also cannot walk straight and I’m going to be crying at the muscle pull tomorrow morning.
- Shouldn’t have snoozed. Now I don’t have the time to scramble my eggs. No breakfast, grumpy morning, bingeing at lunch.
- Shouldn’t have dated you. (We all have this, no?) Not only did I waste those precious years when I should have been socializing and having fun, I’m left with a bitter taste and a load of luggage even today because you have not been capable of growing up.
- Shouldn’t have worn this godforsaken jacket in this godforsaken heat, I know now what a tandoori chicken feels like.
- Shouldn’t have stayed this long. Bad career decision. Heart is not good to be listened to for career advice, she knows less about good career decisions than Jon Snow.